A Campus Full of 🌷Flowers, A Heart Full of 😔Regret

— A story of dreams, pressure, and quiet courage

☎️ It Started With an Unexpected Call

I still remember the day — like any other, I was in my hostel room, buried in UPSC books, when someone called my friend and said, “Ch Sateesh sir is calling Sandhya.” My friend, thinking it must be some other Sandhya, hung up. But the call came again. “It’s you,” she said this time, handing me the phone.

I was confused. Why would Ch Sateesh sir, a respected CSE faculty member and our Training and Placement Cell coordinator, call me? I wasn’t even applying for any placements. He was one of the most strict, professional, and silent people on campus. The kind who rarely smiled, rarely spoke, but worked relentlessly to bring companies to our remote university.

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🏛️ Walking to the Office — and Into a Turning Point

Still unsure, I walked over to the TNPC office. He wasn’t there yet, so I waited at the library, trying to distract myself with a newspaper while my nerves danced restlessly. When I saw him walking in, I composed myself, greeted him, and stood in front of his office door like a student summoned by destiny.

He looked up, asked my name and initial. I replied, “Sandhya Velamuri.”

Then he said something I’ll never forget:

> “I saw your LinkedIn. Your flower photos. But there are so many more flowers in our campus — why only one or two? Make a documentary. You seem to love photography.”

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🪻 To Be Seen for Who I Really Am

I was speechless. This silent, respected man — someone I admired from afar — had seen me. Not my grades, not my resume. Me. My posts. My eye for beauty.

Then he brought up another post of mine — a call to fellow UPSC aspirants from the Misfits community in Hyderabad. He asked about my dream. I said, “UPSC.”

That led to a whole string of questions — Why UPSC? Why civil services?

I answered… but my nervousness made the words feel small and shaky. Looking back, I cringe at how unsure I sounded. But he didn’t scold me. He listened.

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✍️ He Gave Me Three Tasks

By the end of that unexpected 30-minute conversation, he gave me three tasks:

✅ Create a documentary of the flowers in our campus.

✅ Start a UPSC community — a circle of students with the same dream.

✅ Prepare a powerful answer for why I want to enter the civil services — and share it when we meet again.

> 🌟 That night itself, I completed the second task — I formed a UPSC aspirants group.

> It became a space for support, motivation, and shared preparation.

But we never met again.

Because I never finished the other work.

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⁉️ Why I Couldn't Complete the Work

If there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s this:

I either give my everything or I don’t start at all.

I don’t know how to do something “just okay.” Especially when someone I admire trusts me with something meaningful. And this — documenting the flowers of our campus — wasn’t just a task. It became something I dreamed of doing perfectly.

I didn’t want to simply collect flower photos.

I wanted a complete botanical story...

🌼 Their common and scientific names

🌙 When they bloom, when they sleep

🍃 Whether they look the same throughout the season

🌸 Whether different varieties existed on the same campus

🧪 Even their uses, traditions, or healing properties

🪷 Some flowers bloomed so high I couldn’t capture them with my phone.

🌄 Some bloomed only early in the morning or in the golden evening light — but by the time I reached them, someone had already picked them.

📆 I realized that a complete and seasonal record would take at least a year, maybe more.

🍂 And while some flowers were blooming at the time, I missed them — because I was chasing perfection instead of presence.

> 🧱 In the end, my own expectations became the wall between me and the work.

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💔 What Did This Incomplete Journey Teach Me?

I still remember how my heart sank each time I crossed paths with Sateesh sir.

Not because he scolded me.

Not because he ever questioned me.

But because I knew I hadn’t finished what I once started with such fire.

I had dreamed of creating something no one ever attempted — a visual documentation of every flower blooming across our vast campus. Not just photographs — but a journey.

📖 Names, bloom cycles, seasonal changes, varieties... everything.

But somewhere in the middle, when I saw the flowers blooming out of reach, getting picked before sunrise, seasons changing quicker than I could document — I froze.

> “If it can’t be exactly the way I imagined, maybe it’s not worth doing at all.”

That became my biggest regret.

🌠 I realize now, dreaming is beautiful — but execution matters more.

Even if it falls short of the dream.

I could have done it differently.

A little less perfect, maybe.

But still meaningful.

In my mind, Sateesh sir doesn’t see a failure.

But I see one when I see him —

not because I failed, but because I didn't even try to complete it in any form.

And that hurts more.

But maybe... that’s also how I grow.

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🌻Small Wins That Still Warm My Heart

When I began taking photographs, I felt happy in a very quiet, personal way.

I’ve always been an introvert — someone who hesitates to do things in public, afraid of what others might think. But something changed this time.

Though the campus was always full of students, I didn’t stop.

I had a purpose behind me: the responsibility given by Sateesh sir.

I didn’t have a camera — just a mobile phone. But that never felt like a limitation.

📷 Personally, I may have hesitated — but professionally, I was different.

I ignored the crowd, held my mobile like it was a lens of purpose, and walked towards the flowers.

It was the first time I noticed how rich our campus truly was — so many different flowers, sometimes even surprising varieties of the same one.

And in those small moments, I didn’t just discover the flowers; I discovered parts of myself.

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🍂💭✨📸Those few frames I managed to click — they haunt me more than they help.

I failed to document a year that deserved everything.

I did try. I wandered through the campus with my phone, catching petals mid-fall, capturing a few vibrant blossoms.

📸 The Few I Could Catch :

click here to view the full photo album : https://photos.app.goo.gl/Sia9bfC67rDYLjXX7

🌱 Still Blooming

I don’t know when...

But someday, I’ll go back to complete this documentary.

Maybe not with perfection — but with presence.

Maybe not for validation — but for the joy of creation.

Maybe not because it’s pending — but because it’s still alive in my heart.

Because the flowers I couldn’t frame are still blooming — And so am I.

— Sandhya Velamuri